


A Smile to Protect

by Kien Rugastelo (cein)



Series: Fairy Tale AU [4]
Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Magic, Names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:21:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25952854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cein/pseuds/Kien%20Rugastelo
Summary: Xiao Lan did not often understand his father.
Relationships: Li Sakura & Li Syaoran (Tsubasa)
Series: Fairy Tale AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1880530





	A Smile to Protect

Xiao Lan did not often understand his father. Clow was gentle and kind, rarely forceful, and rarely direct. Xiao Lan was 8 when his father one day announced that they would be leaving Macau. There had been no warning. They simply sold everything they wouldn’t be taking with them, and were on a boat to Europe by the end of the week.

His brother Yue was not so bad. At least he would be clear about what he was saying.

The irony of his father taking his power from the sun, and Yue taking after their mother and drawing from the moon was not lost on Xiao Lan. It was typically a trait associated with the moon to be shrouded in secrecy, things hidden by the darkness of the night, but Clow was rarely what people expected him to be.

When Clow was direct, it was important. He was direct when he was instructing and correcting. He was direct when a situation became perilous. He was direct when warning Xiao Lan about the importance of names.

“One day,” Clow had warned him when he was very small, “Someone may take your name from you. If that day comes, you must use all your power to guard your other names, no matter what.”

When Clow was direct, Xiao Lan knew to pay attention and keep his words close.

When they arrived in Europe, they wandered for a time. Clow took them places as if being drawn on a string. They arrived in a small town to the north after months of searching, Clow arranged for quarters to be purchased, and they set up shop. Xiao Lan did not understand why this place was so important, and why they would be needed there, especially since there was already a capable family in the same business they were.

But, as Clow had told him before, there was no such thing as a coincidence, only the inevitable.

The family used magic, too — had children the same age as his brother and himself. They seemed nice enough (most of them, the older brother of that family seemed to trust Xiao Lan’s family as much as he trusted theirs), but if destiny had dragged them to this place where they were now in competition with a family too similar to his own to ignore, then there must have been a reason.

It didn’t take long for Xiao Lan to decide the Rowntrees must have been a kind of threat — that their power would be wielded for ill and that it would be up to the Li clan to stop them someday.

Xiao Lan was determined to be ready.

(Yue took to teasing the son of the Rowntrees, almost as if he had taken a kind of liking to him. Xiao Lan didn’t understand his brother sometimes, either.)

Medicine was their business. It was what paid the bills and kept them fed. It gave them an excuse to keep their powers fresh with constant practice. It was not their specialty. In Macau, they acted openly. They took down dangerous magicians that grew too powerful for the good of the people at large, hunted down monsters that threatened the city, put things to right when an ill-advised spell went amok. Clow had warned them Europe would be quite different and they would have to act in secret.

They did.

The stream in the forest formed a kind of barrier. That much was obvious the moment Xiao Lan had drawn close to it. Beyond it were wretched creatures — things that attacked and fed on people who wandered beyond. Sometimes the victims were killed, most times they were simply drained of a portion of their life and left with a hole in their memory and allowed to return, changed and doomed to die young. Yue remarked that it was clever of them. That the monsters had stayed under the radar for an inordinate amount of time with that strategy, and that the level of skill was impressive.

Xiao Lan refused to acknowledge the compliment.

They strengthened the barrier, casting a spell along the banks so that most people would see the stream as a great river, too wide and too swift to safely cross. Anything that managed to get to their side of the stream, they killed.

The stream itself was a great source of magic, so Xiao Lan wasn’t surprised when his father took to the still pond it emptied into when it was time to refresh their stock. If nothing else, it made the work go by more swiftly and efficiently, leaving them less tired at the end. Clow would make medicine in the day and Yue by the night. When it came time for instruction, Clow would teach by night as well to make the process easier on his sons.

It was a consideration Xiao Lan deeply appreciated. He wasn’t weak by any means, but he was better at fighting than making medicines. Yue was much more suited and fancied himself a priest of sorts, and Xiao Lan thought it suited his brother perfectly. Xiao Lan preferred the hunt, but Clow told him medicine was important, too, so he learned.

Clow hadn’t warned him in advance, and so Xiao Lan was appalled when three months in, the daughter of the Rowntrees began to join them. She was an enemy in Xiao Lan’s mind — her family didn’t even guard the town from the threat of the stream as his own did. Why would his father want to instruct her, of all people?

The girl introduced herself as Silíní and when Clow spoke that name, it didn’t resonate as a true name should. Xiao Lan did not miss that, and when his father all but admitted aloud that they were using magic by drawing from the moon, Xiao Lan objected in their native tongue. Silíní did not need to be a part of their conversation.

Clow had simply turned his way, not stern but reassuring. “It’s alright,” Clow told him, and there was something else behind those words — something else that Clow was saying — but despite Xiao Lan’s affiliation with the moon, the hidden meaning behind those words did not reveal itself to him. It rarely did, with Clow. Xiao Lan clammed up anyway.

Clow reached his hand towards Silíní and when their hands met, there was something there. It was a resonance of some kind, one even Xiao Lan could feel without being a direct part of it.

Silíní didn’t seem to be aware of it, so Xiao Lan didn’t say anything just then.

It wasn’t until they were packing up to return home that Xiao Lan decided to speak up. “She’s powerful.”

Clow nodded. “Her power is as vast as the multitude of stars.” He said this as if he was proud of her, somehow, like when he complimented Xiao Lan or Yue.

Xiao Lan did not often understand his father, and he doubted he ever would.

* * *

It was hard to stay guarded around Silíní. She was outwardly kind and disarming, thoughtful and intuitive. Something about her got under Xiao Lan’s skin and stayed there. It made it hard to stay hostile to her, especially when Clow treated her so welcomingly. He wouldn’t want to seem rude, especially in front of his father.

Maybe, Xiao Lan decided, she wasn’t a threat, even if her family was. It was hard to imagine Silíní would someday become the horrible sort of person he would have to put down like a rabid beast someday. The possibility existed she may get in over her head, that she could cast something bigger than herself and it was  _ that _ which Xiao Lan would one day fight, but Silíní herself? Xiao Lan doubted her nature allowed for the kind of cruel casual disregard for others that allowed someone to turn to evil.

Her brother was a different story. Yue seemed to have a different opinion.

There was something about Silíní that cut through Xiao Lan’s defenses, making it hard to stay unfriendly with her. For a while, he considered that maybe she had cast a spell on him. Maybe she had enchanted him and he would one day be forced to do her bidding. The next time he saw her smile, though, those suspicions vanished like a puddle under the sun.

That smile made his heart pound, made his face heat, made his tongue stumble and mind slow.

It was a spell, of a sort, but not the kind Xiao Lan had thought.

Sometimes, he made a conscious effort to be rude with her, to try to chase that smile away so it would stop weakening him, stop making him be so soft with her, stop confusing his heart and settling his mind. She didn’t stay away long. Part of Xiao Lan was grateful.

He hated that part, and yet it grew every day.

If it really was a spell, Xiao Lan was in deep and there was no escape.

* * *

One day, after a rare occasion when Xiao Lan had been tasked with refreshing the spells along the stream, Xiao Lan detected the border of it being violated, and so he went into the woods to investigate. Either someone had ignored the illusion and had crossed at an apparent great risk to themselves, or someone with power had seen through the spell and had ignored it. Either way, it couldn’t be good.

When he got close, he clapped his palms together, fingers face opposite directions, and pulled from deep within himself. As his hands drew apart, he pulled his sword from the pocket realm it was stored in, and he could feel the power of it when he grasped it. Most likely, he would be facing a monster or a wizard. He had to be prepared.

When he crossed the stream and saw the trespasser was neither of those, but Silíní, he quickly put the sword away before she could turn, basket full of flowers and a bottle in hand. She turned her smile his way, more devastating than his sword. “Hello, Xiao Lan! Beautiful day, isn’t it?”

“What are you doing here?” Xiao Lan demanded, though without much heat. This place was dangerous, didn’t she know that?

“These flowers are good for burns,” she explained, now strolling his direction. “The innkeeper burned himself so mom sent me to gather them. They grow on the other side, but the ones here work better. Here,” she prompted, holding her basket up.

Xiao Lan took one of the flowers in hand and reached through it, and indeed, it seemed to have properties that would cool the skin and fight off infections. The ones like it on the other side of the river didn’t. “What changes them?”

Silíní hesitated just a moment. “This place is special. It belongs to a witch, and her power makes the plants more potent.”

“A witch?” Xiao Lan had never felt a human presence aside from the ones they’d rescued here — just monsters.

“That’s what father says,” Silíní explained. “I’m told she grants wishes, but asks a terrible price for them. We don’t want to anger her, so when we come here, we leave gifts and she lets us get what we need.”

Xiao Lan had never met witches like that, but he had heard of them. Wishes were dangerous, his father had told him. They were meant to be kept inside and made true by oneself. Coming to a witch to get a wish granted was usually a mistake. In one of the few times his father had been direct, he had told Xiao Lan that he must be responsible for his own wishes, not put them on others to grant. Bargaining with her even indirectly like this seemed dangerous. “Have you ever seen her? The witch?”

Silíní shook her head no, setting the bottle down against a tree. “We think it’s better to leave her alone, but mother says she likes alcohol.”

“Alcohol?”

“Things grow better when we leave it instead of other things.”

It had to be dangerous, bargaining with something so powerful Xiao Lan couldn’t detect her, without even having clear terms. Silíní shouldn’t be out here by herself. “I’ll help you,” Xiao Lan found himself offering before he could think better of it.

Silíní’s smile grew brighter. “Thanks, Xiao Lan!”

Monsters didn’t come, and he escorted Silíní safely back over the stream and to her home, and Xiao Lan internally was quite proud of his job well done.

* * *

Xiao Lan was 14 when the plague came. Clow and Yue took immediate steps to cleanse the town. They pulled up a barrier to discourage travellers to help keep the spread low, blessed the air to slow the spread, took the time to prepare a special mix for the animals so that they would be spared as well. Xiao Lan, not very skilled with the sort of blessings it took to sanctify the air and protect against an invisible threat, was tasked with blending that mix into food and leaving it out for the animals to find around town.

The Rowntrees did their part as well. One of them had clearly cast a spell that discouraged people from leaving their homes, tasking the matriarch with delivering the medicine they made instead, so that they could limit the spread as much as they could. Xiao Lan thought her bold, and maybe a little too reckless. He’d never seen the Rowntrees cast barriers or protections. Could she cleanse the air? How did she plan to protect herself from the disease?

If she had something planned, it had failed.

Xiao Lan was 14 when he finally learned to admire the Rowntrees. He was 14 when he learned what sacrifice was. He was 14 and reckless himself.

* * *

Silíní disappeared, but not the way people usually did. She never left her room, and on the few occasions she did, it was like she had been snuffed out herself. Her words and actions were sluggish, and she seemed on the verge of tears any time Xiao Lan saw her, as if anything would push her back over the edge into unending despair. Her smile was gone, and it was gone so long that Xiao Lan thought it might never come back, no matter how hard he tried.

Never before had Xiao Lan held a wish inside he couldn’t grant, and he was unprepared for how painful it was. Silíní’s mother hadn’t deserved to die like that, Silíní herself didn’t deserve to be suffering like this. The Rowntrees were good people, and they hadn’t done anything wrong. It wasn’t fair.

The anger and frustration sat deep inside Xiao Lan’s chest burning brighter with every day, and one day, when he was passing the Rowntrees home and he could hear Silíní sobbing within, it overwhelmed him.

Before he knew what was happening, he had ventured into the woods and crossed the stream, and there he found a wide meadow of tall grasses, and a hut. Xiao Lan marched right up fearlessly. She could do whatever she wanted, as long as he got his wish.

On the porch was a woman petting a fox, smoking from a long pipe. She turned her eyes Xiao Lan’s way and he was surprised to notice she was Asian. What would she be doing so far away, or perhaps it was an illusion for his benefit? Xiao Lan did not have time to wonder long. “You have a wish?”

Xiao Lan shook his head, clearing it. “I want you to bring back the matriarch of the Rowntrees.”

“A lofty wish,” she responded, humor in her voice.

“I know that,” he snapped. “Bring her back.”

She sniffed. “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“I don’t care!” Xiao Lan shouted, stepping forward and sweeping a hand before him. This woman was infuriating, and all the rage he’d been holding seemed to bubble forth all at once. “You’re a wish granter, right? I have a wish and I’ll pay the price, so you have to grant it! That’s how it works!”

Her eyes met his directly and Xiao Lan was sure she couldn’t be quite human. “No matter the price?”

“No matter the price, so just do it already.”

“Very well,” she said, standing and reaching forward. Xiao Lan found he couldn’t move. “You’ll have your wish.”

He couldn’t move and it was fine. It’d be fine. Silíní would have her mother back. She’d have her smile back.

Anything else was fine.

* * *

Xiao Lan woke in a jar, sitting on the porch of the witch’s hut. Apparently, freedom was part of his price, and if she took his freedom, there were only a few things that could mean. Reluctantly, Xiao Lan reached inside himself and immediately found what he was missing.

She had his true name, and Xiao Lan doubted he was going to find it in this jar.

Clow had warned him. He’d wanted him against wish granters; he’d warned him about his name.

Xiao Lan remembered what he’d been told, and he reached inside himself, found where he’d held “Xiao Lan”, and without another thought, he burned it.

* * *

He convinced himself that life in a jar wasn’t too bad, after it became apparent that he wouldn’t be escaping no matter what spell he cast. He didn’t grow hungry or thirsty, and it wasn’t as though the witch had ever come to torment him. Instead, he took the now infinite free time he had to practice his spells. One day, he may grow powerful enough to free himself, but for now, he could just focus on becoming as powerful as he could.

He didn’t count on Silíní one day appearing in the field. He couldn’t hear what was happening beyond his jar, but he prayed she’d be able to hear him. She shouldn’t be here. He had paid the price to make her happy again, and she  _ shouldn’t be here _ . He pounded on the glass, screaming her name, trying to warn her off — convince her to go home and be happy again.

If she heard, she didn’t listen, and soon he was back with her by the pond. His name was still gone — both of his names were still gone. He still had Silíní, but he could feel the same trap around her as he had. A trap of No Name.

It was dark when Silíní woke up, and he was still feeling a bit cross with her. Didn’t she know better? How could she have done this to herself? “Why did you do it?”

She sat up. At least she didn’t seem harmed. He took comfort in that. “I couldn’t stand to lose anyone else.”

So whatever her mother had been brought back as, whatever her form, whatever parts of her remained, she hadn’t been brought to Silíní. He should have known even his name and freedom were too small a price to bring her back to Silíní. The thought was bitter in his throat. “You just lost  _ everyone _ else.”

And then, Silíní surprised him. “No,” she murmured, putting her hands together as though in prayer. “They’re safe. I cannot reach them, but they’re safe. And now,” she turned a sad smile his way. At least it was a smile. “You’re safe, too.”

He sighed. Silíní was stupid in the same ways he was stupid, but she was ok and her smile would return. Secretly, he was glad to no longer be alone. Or if he was alone, he was alone with her. It would be enough, and he would protect her better this time, like he was meant to. Like he somehow always knew he was meant to. “What do I call you now?”

He held her name in his mind and waited. Silíní seemed to turn inwards, thinking, concentrating, and slowly, her name dissolved and when she opened her eyes, she seemed resolute. “Flower.”

He took that name and built the strongest defense around it he knew. He would protect her properly this time, no matter what. And then, he gave her a name as well: “Lion.”

Flower’s head hit his shoulders and Lion did not flinch. Though he didn’t dare to put his arm around her, he let her stay there for as long as he needed and take whatever from him that she could. He owed her that, and more.

* * *

They explored the realm together. It didn’t take them long to learn they couldn’t leave, but at least they had the space to roam. When Lion concentrated, he could feel something calling to him — something he had a connection with — and he had an idea of what it was. When the moon was full and his powers were strongest, he followed it and found it led to a tree. When he reached out to it, he understood. It wasn’t exactly Flower’s mother, but it was close. “This is what I came here for.”

Flower approached it and touched it. Lion could feel her powers reacting, and he knew when her face fell that she understood. The knowledge of it felt bitter in Lion’s heart. All he had wanted was for her to be happy again. Instead, he had brought a fake mother she couldn’t even know at the time, and drawn her in here to make a bargain that trapped her, too. Clow had been right; he should never have approached the wish granter. “I’m sorry,” he continued, knowing he could never make up for what he’d done to her, but maybe she could forgive him, someday. “This is all my name was worth.”

Flower’s sudden embrace was a shock Lion did not immediately respond to. He let her hold him and felt his chest growing damp. Was she crying? Maybe the revelation that her mother was so close but so far was painful to her. Knowing that this tree both was her mother and not must have been excruciating to her. Perhaps, she even felt Lion had violated her memory in some way, and that idea made him feel sick to his stomach.

Feeling dirty, he was about to push her away, but then she thanked him. After everything he had done to her, after all the pain and suffering he had put her through, Flower had thanked him.

He didn’t deserve her, Lion knew that, but he held her tightly anyway. He’d make her happy here, somehow. He’d be whoever he had to, do whatever he had to, and he’d make her as happy as he could.

But for now, he could hold her.

* * *

Lion had traded his name and his freedom for a facsimile of Flower’s mother to be bound to a tree, and Flower had exchanged her name for his freedom, but it seemed neither of those were quite powerful enough. Gradually, the presence in the tree started to weaken. Flower hadn’t noticed, but Lion had.

He wasn’t Clow or Yue. He wasn’t great at protections and barriers and cleansings, but he could bolster them, and he did so with their tree. During the day, he funnelled his energy into it, preserving it and making sure Flower wouldn’t lose the comfort she seemed to draw from it.

He recharged at night, better when the moon was full, and did everything he could to sustain that tree.

It wasn’t long before he realized his human form was growing exhausting. A cat was smaller and needed less of his energy. If he reverted to it during the day, he could devote more power to keeping the tree alive and as sentient as it had been. It cost him the ability to talk to Flower, but as flowers, she could talk to the tree, and he could rest in the tree, and they could all still be together.

At night, he would still take his human form. It felt selfish, using up more power when he could be devoting it to Flower’s “mother” but he couldn’t deny himself Flower’s smile, and so he kept her company all night, even the nights when they ran out of things to say and just sat together quietly.

He could keep going, with only that smile.

* * *

One day, a man appeared beneath their tree and when he moved threateningly towards Flower, Lion attacked, only to be smacked back against it and fall. As he was berating himself for not taking his more powerful human form, Flower stepped between them and held him close, protecting him.

Selfishly, he stayed a cat and sulked in her embrace. Once again, she had been the one to protect him, once again he had been powerless to help her.

He’d protect her properly when they were free. He swore it deep within and let the thought take root.

Flower would smile, always. He’d make sure of it.


End file.
